Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.

— Oscar Wilde.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!! Not only do we get to celebrate the rolling in of a new year but how exciting is it to roll in to a new decade?!  2020!!! Or the Roaring 20’s has some people have affectionately deemed it.  Although if we aren’t going to dress and act as if we were in the actual “roaring 20’s” of 1920 then what’s really the point?… Anywho, I digress. 

I’m sure if you’re anything like me your social media timelines were filled with the many posts about “New year, new me”, “Cleaning up my friends list”, “If you’re reading this then you made the cut”, yada yada yada, etc.  But then you realize that those were the same posts from you and/or your friends that were made last year and the year before that and the year before that.  Which leads me to pose the question, if you are forever creating a “new” you, who is the real YOU?

For all the “You” fans, forgive me for sounding a bit Joe Goldberg-ish but you get my drift…

In a time where most are adopting words or phrases that will be used to shape their year or even the rest of their lives, I tend to lean towards the word “Authentic”.  I just love that word… Authentic.  It just rolls off the tongue… au-then-tic, again, I digress…  Now you may or may not be asking yourself why I chose that word in particular. Authentic means “of undisputed origin”; meaning you know exactly what it is, where it came from, and ultimately what to expect from it…  I think authenticity is important in various aspects of life but in some instances more so than others. 

Be authentic with your friends

As we grow older, and hopefully wiser, having a good circle of friends (or as I like to call it “circle of influence”) is key.  Fostering those friendships into long lasting relationships is ideal and being authentic is essential to that process.  How can you be authentic with your friends?  I’m glad you asked… Be that friend that is honest, caring and supportive.  I must admit, I have been told I am the brutally honest friend; which clearly I am.  I’m that friend that will tell you that, “Yes, you look fat in that outfit”, or “You sound crazy for wanting to take him back” or even tell you that your child probably should have a great personality because they are, ahem… unattractive.  Now, I’m not saying be like me… (Actually, don’t be like me, BE YOU).   But what I am saying is be that honest, caring and supportive person the best way YOU know how to be.   You may not be as harsh, brutal or blunt as I am but be clear and concise in your delivery that way there is no room for misinterpretation or ambiguity.  Proverbs 27:6 says “The wounds of a sincere friend are better that many kisses from an enemy”.  Be sincere… Be authentic.  Even though they may hate or deny it for a time, people appreciate and respect those that are authentic with them more so than they do those that put on a façade, hiding how they really feel and who they really are.  Never be afraid to be transparently clear in who you are, what you stand for/believe, where you come from and how you feel.  Trust me, your friends will thank you for it… Later.

Be authentic with your family

Let face it, we all have those times where we don’t want to be completely authentic with our family for fear of judgement.  No one wants to be judged for who they are or their choices made no matter how ill-advised they may be.  But if you cannot be authentic and “unapologically” you with those people that are supposed to know you the best, then who can you be yourself around?… Fear of being judged or talked about when you are not in the room should be the least of your worries because honestly people (including your friends and family) judge you every day for various reasons.  If you think hiding who you are is going to limit the amount of judgement, scrutiny, or opinions that come your way then you are sadly mistaken.  No matter what you do and how you do it, someone will always have something to say to the contrary.  So you might as well just DO YOU.  Family be damned… You and you alone have to deal with the ramifications of your decisions, actions or lack thereof… Which leads me to my last point.

Be authentic with YOU

Yes, with every turning year there are new goals set, new accomplishments to achieve and new victories to be won… Being completely honest with yourself about the goals you want to accomplish and how you plan to achieve them is dire.  This takes being authentic with yourself and what sparks joy for you (in my Marie Kondo voice) and pushes it to the forefront of everything.  Why?… Because you cannot be authentic with anyone else until you learn how to be authentically you with YOU first.  So spend time with yourself and learn or relearn what makes you happy, what you don’t like, what you love spending time doing and with whom you want to spend that time.  When you’re not good physically, mentally or emotionally, acknowledge that you are NOT good and evaluate what you need to do to be good.  Therapy works wonders… Believe me.  Don’t be afraid to say “No” or pass on some events or things that don’t quite fit into your long term plan (whatever that may be).  Regardless of how others may feel about you and your decisions, you have to be comfortable with you.  Once you can achieve that, everything else is a breeze.  You won’t fear judgment as much; you won’t feel the need to put on a façade nor will you want to be a new you every year but instead put all your focus on becoming a better more authentic you than the year before.  Learning to accept yourself with your nuances and idiosyncrasies helps you accept others and theirs or at the very least opens your eyes to what you aren’t willing to accept; which inevitably brings you to a personal level of peace which we all should strive to achieve. 

The world doesn’t need a new you, it needs the real you… it needs a more AUTHENTIC YOU…